View Full Version : Don't Mess With Texas! Or Scotland!

04-03-2003, 12:26 PM
Hi Folks,

Here’s a little story my mother sent me about Texans.


Subject: Texans are tough!

A large group of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune. "One Texas soldier is better than ten Iraqi." The Iraqi commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune, whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice once again calls out "One Texan is better than one hundred Iraqi". Furious, the Iraqi commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences.

After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The Texan voice calls out again, "One Texan is better than one thousand Iraqi". The enraged Iraqi commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought. Then silence.

Eventually, one badly wounded Iraqi fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "It is a trick! There are two of them."

Don't Mess With Texas!



[ 04-15-2003: Message edited by: Bret ]</p>

David McLaughlin
04-03-2003, 07:07 PM
Nice one, Bret! images/icons/smile.gif

04-16-2003, 02:49 AM
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by David McLaughlin:
Nice one, Bret! images/icons/smile.gif <hr></blockquote>

Thanks David,

If ya liked that one, then with you being from in Scotland and all - ya might like this one too. I discovered it on a Highlander web page. It seems that this joke has been around for a long time and had many usages over the years:

Scottish version
In the old days the English and Scottish armies used to fight by gathering their armies on top of the hills and at day break they would run down the hillside into the deep gorge below to fight.

One morning at dawn there was a fog (as thick as pea soup) and the two generals decided to refrain from fighting that day. Whilst the two armies were resting a voice, with a scottish accent came from within the dense fog.

"Any one scotsman can beat any 10 englishmen".

With this, the english general sent down 10 of his soldiers. There was a **** of a fight and NO ONE returned. An hour later, the same voice was heard.

"Any one scotsman can beat any 50 englishman".

With this the english general sent down 50 of his soldiers. The same thing, a terrible fight ensured and again NO ONE returned. An hour later the same voice.

"Any one scotsman can beat any 100 englishman".

Same same, down went 100 of the best. NO ONE returned. An hour later.

"Any one scotsman can beat any 1,000 englishman".

By this time, the english general had enough and was about to send down his elite soldiers, when he saw a lone englishman crawling up the hill. He was battered to a pulp. As he reached his general he said, "Don't send any more troops down, its a trap, THERES TWO OF THE B*STARDS".


As you can see this joke can be used in a variety of ways. It’s a formula that lets you pick just about any war and enemy.

[ 04-16-2003: Message edited by: Bret ]</p>