View Full Version : Of Certain Fluids and British Cars........

doug noll
03-25-2002, 03:46 PM
I've been studying fluids and Brit cars for more
than forty years now, and have figured out that
Brit car people get way too uptight over something
that is just part of a natural order. You see,
water leaks in from the top of all Brit cars, and
is magically transformed by some arcane British
alchemy to an automotive fluid, which then leaks
out the bottom. When this wizardry works well,
rainwater becomes engine oil, which then leaks out
the bottom of the car. If the magic is only par-
tially working, then brake fluid leaks out, or
perhaps 90 weight. And if the sorcery is weak,
then only engine coolant falls out, with maybe a
hint of anti-freeze in it. You can't change it,
you see.....That's just the way things are!

When I was a young man, I spent hours trying to,
well, if not reverse the process, then at least
slow it down to where the public would not be
maimed or injured by slippin in the after-product
of this magical happening. I wasted much valuable
time and antacid medicine when I could have been
more valuably driving my Brit car, or maybe con-
suming some tasty beverage and talking about Brit
cars, or perhaps [sigh] chasing comely maidens
and even catching them with my Brit car. Now that
I am older, I have adopted a laissez-faire at-
titude towards this ancient art of the sorcerers.
If a rainstorm by-product threatens to dampen my
clothes while driving, why I just go to a store
and buy two or three rolls of paper towels, sop
up what is excess to the wizards needs for their
weird chemistry, and keep driving my Brit car.
If I see a large spot on the garage floor, I can
observe that it got there by itself, and if I
don't worry about it, maybe it will also leave
by itself, then go driving in my British car.

Please, won't you join me in my acceptance of this
stated higher order of truth? For after all, if
our Brit cars didn't leak fluid through the top,
they'd probably be Japanese, and just another
appliance. If they didn't leak fluids out the
bottom, maybe they'd be German and therefore, just
another bathroom fixture. And if that's how it
really was they'd be INCREDIBLY BORING. And as
contributor Steve states so eloquently, "Life is
too short to drive boring cars".


03-25-2002, 05:18 PM
Brit cars don't leak....they are just "marking their territory". (same can be said for Harleys and old tailwheel airplanes) graemlins/lol.gif

04-07-2002, 12:36 AM
in addition to "marking their territory", its a british cars way of telling you to check your fluid levels. images/icons/smile.gif