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02-27-2002, 01:31 PM
Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them
get elected.

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no
trade-in value.

If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes,
make Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand
grenades...now THAT'S a message!!

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been
giving me lately!

Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
days I've stayed alive.

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead
rabbits on the highway?

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and
50 for Miss America?

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see

The next time ! you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage
disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people
in this world.

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

[ 02-27-2002: Message edited by: James ]</p>