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*LOT'S WIFE:*
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*GOOD SAMARITAN:*
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*DID NOAH FISH?*
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*HIGHER POWER:*
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*MOSES & THE RED SEA:*
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*UNANSWERED PRAYER?*
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me
preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*BEING THANKFUL*
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER*
During the minister's prayer, one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, "Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?" Gary answered, soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He just then did!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*BEWARE OF TRASH*
One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our 'trash baskets' as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*SAY A PRAYER*
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to," The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer, before eating, at our house."
"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"
*****************************************************
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*GOOD SAMARITAN:*
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*DID NOAH FISH?*
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*HIGHER POWER:*
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*MOSES & THE RED SEA:*
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*UNANSWERED PRAYER?*
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me
preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*BEING THANKFUL*
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER*
During the minister's prayer, one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, "Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?" Gary answered, soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He just then did!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*BEWARE OF TRASH*
One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our 'trash baskets' as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*SAY A PRAYER*
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to," The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer, before eating, at our house."
"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"
*****************************************************
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