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Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

maynard

Obi Wan
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1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).

6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.

11. Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should never generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Don't use no double negatives.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.

26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times:
resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.

34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
 

Mickey Richaud

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2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.



Up with that we will not put!


 

JPSmit

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may I say again, irregardless of it already being included that there is a lot of useless unnecessary redundancy.
 

NutmegCT

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We need to get back to real English! Those young whip snappers have ruined our English language!

Cotton_MS_Vitellius2.jpg

Hwaet!
 

waltesefalcon

Yoda
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Good stuff. I have a similar thing posted in my room, "the eight rules for writing good" or something along those lines.
 

catfood

Jedi Knight
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The English language was fine until it crossed the Atlantic... (ducks for cover) :congratulatory:
 

DrEntropy

Great Pumpkin
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:lol: Gnarly, Dude!
 

dklawson

Yoda
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The English language was fine until it crossed the Atlantic... (ducks for cover) :congratulatory:

It was probably OK until the Norman Conquest and the introduction of a lot of French and Latin words.
 

JPSmit

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18kperhr

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"The Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson is a wonderfully readable history of the English language. I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in the language and how it evolved. As a matter of fact I highly recommend any Bryson's books. "A Short History of Nearly Everything" will set you up with most everything you need to know about the natural world both large (the universe) and small (the subatomic). His memoir "The Life and Times of Thunderbolt Kid" is a laugh riot to baby boomers and may prove illuminating to non-baby boomers.
Enjoy, Joel
 

Basil

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"The Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson is a wonderfully readable history of the English language. I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in the language and how it evolved. As a matter of fact I highly recommend any Bryson's books. "A Short History of Nearly Everything" will set you up with most everything you need to know about the natural world both large (the universe) and small (the subatomic). His memoir "The Life and Times of Thunderbolt Kid" is a laugh riot to baby boomers and may prove illuminating to non-baby boomers.
Enjoy, Joel

Thanks for that tip, Joel.
 
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