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Thread: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

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  1. #1
    Jedi Warrior
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    Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

    2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

    3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

    4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

    5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).

    6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.

    7. Be more or less specific.

    8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

    9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

    10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.

    11. Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.

    12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

    13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

    14. One should never generalize.

    15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

    16. Don't use no double negatives.

    17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

    18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

    19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

    20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

    21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

    22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

    23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!

    24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

    25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.

    26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

    27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

    28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times:
    resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

    29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

    30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

    31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

    32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

    33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.

    34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
    Maynard
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    Darth Vader John Turney's Avatar
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!!!
    John, BN4

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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    Brake the rools too make a punt

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    Moderator Mickey Richaud's Avatar
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.



    Up with that we will not put!


    "There are three kinds of men. One who learns by readin'. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on that electric fence for themselves." Will Rogers
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    Great Pumpkin JPSmit's Avatar
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    may I say again, irregardless of it already being included that there is a lot of useless unnecessary redundancy.
    John-Peter Smit
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    Yoda dklawson's Avatar
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    Procrastinate later and eschew obfuscation.
    Doug L.
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    Yoda NutmegCT's Avatar
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    We need to get back to real English! Those young whip snappers have ruined our English language!

    Cotton_MS_Vitellius2.jpg

    Hwaet!
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    Good stuff. I have a similar thing posted in my room, "the eight rules for writing good" or something along those lines.
    Cheers,
    Walter
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    Jedi Knight
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    Up the street the soldiers are coming down.
    I hope the rain keeps up - because if it does, it won't come down.

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    Jedi Knight catfood's Avatar
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    The English language was fine until it crossed the Atlantic... (ducks for cover)
    Steve K.
    '55 BN1/225574


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    Great Pumpkin DrEntropy's Avatar
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    Gnarly, Dude!
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    Quote Originally Posted by catfood View Post
    The English language was fine until it crossed the Atlantic... (ducks for cover)
    It was probably OK until the Norman Conquest and the introduction of a lot of French and Latin words.
    Doug L.
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    Great Pumpkin JPSmit's Avatar
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    Quote Originally Posted by dklawson View Post
    It was probably OK until the Norman Conquest and the introduction of a lot of French and Latin words.
    et tu?
    John-Peter Smit
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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    "The Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson is a wonderfully readable history of the English language. I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in the language and how it evolved. As a matter of fact I highly recommend any Bryson's books. "A Short History of Nearly Everything" will set you up with most everything you need to know about the natural world both large (the universe) and small (the subatomic). His memoir "The Life and Times of Thunderbolt Kid" is a laugh riot to baby boomers and may prove illuminating to non-baby boomers.
    Enjoy, Joel

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    Re: Perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.

    Quote Originally Posted by 18kperhr View Post
    "The Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson is a wonderfully readable history of the English language. I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in the language and how it evolved. As a matter of fact I highly recommend any Bryson's books. "A Short History of Nearly Everything" will set you up with most everything you need to know about the natural world both large (the universe) and small (the subatomic). His memoir "The Life and Times of Thunderbolt Kid" is a laugh riot to baby boomers and may prove illuminating to non-baby boomers.
    Enjoy, Joel
    Thanks for that tip, Joel.
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