View Full Version : Training for snow skiing.

06-18-2003, 02:55 AM
>Training for Snow Skiing
> >
> >Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
> >Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your
> >head before you go to bed each night. If you wear glasses, begin
> >wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses. Throw away a
> >hundred dollar bill - now. Find the nearest ice rink and walk
> >across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of
> >skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your
> >car. Sporadically drop things. Place a small but angular pebble
> >in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a
> >C-clamp around your toes. Buy a new pair of gloves and
> >immediately throw one away. Secure one of your ankles to a bed
> >post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed. Go to
> >McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger.
> >Be sure you are in the longest line. Clip
> >a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle
> >fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face. Drive slowly
> >for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and
> >you're following an 18 wheeler. Fill a blender with ice, hit the
> >pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on
> >your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes. Dress
> >up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them
> >off because you have to go to the bathroom. Slam your thumb in a
> >car door. Don't go see a doctor. Repeat all of the above every
> >Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing.

06-19-2003, 12:17 AM
I really enjoyed this, but I am not a skier. Hope those that are don't take offense. I guess we can all see ourselves here in whatever we do that we love enough to spend money we don't have.
Thanks for sharing images/icons/wink.gif

06-19-2003, 07:06 AM
I *was* a skier....this is why I stopped.

06-19-2003, 01:45 PM
Still am. Always will be. Not to worry, I wasn’t offended.

Gotta ski!