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bighly
04-21-2003, 02:39 PM
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.

One little girl began, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of
egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a
basket on the front seat of the pick-up when we hit a big bump in
the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"What's the moral of the story ?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket".

"Very good", said the teacher.

Little Kenny raised his hand and said, "My Dad told me about a
family that farmed too, but they raised chickens for the meat market.
They had
a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched there were only got ten
live
chicks."

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"The moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're
hatched.'"

"That's a fine story", said the teacher.

A little boy at the back of the class is waving his arm wildly.
"Yes, Davey, do you have a story to share?" inquired the teacher.

"Yes ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Maureen; Aunt
Maureenwas a flight engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She
had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of
whiskey,
a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it

wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy
troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of
ammunition. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade
broke.
And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens" said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay away from Aunt Maureen when she's been drinking."

78Z
04-22-2003, 02:53 PM
along similar lines ...

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. The first little boy called upon, walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period," said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that." She said, "But what is so exciting about a period?"
"Darned if I know," said the little boy, "but this morning my 16 year old sister was missing one, Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, and the man next door shot himself."