PDA

View Full Version : Wifely Forward



MattP
01-23-2003, 04:36 AM
My wife sent this to me, it was to be forwarded to a smart woman or a man that could handle it. Once I stopped sobbing, I decided to share my pain and post it here images/icons/grin.gif .


ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.


LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that
is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next."


They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

MattP

Steve
01-23-2003, 11:31 AM
Thanks Matt. I needed that!

TypeRboy
01-24-2003, 03:49 AM
No.. married men don't live longer than single men.. to them it just seems that way!

Very funny stuff.. I love the last funeral one..

graemlins/cheers.gif