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aeronca65t
02-11-2002, 06:04 PM
Well not exactly....some "theoretical" titles for Country Western Songs. (from yesterday's NY Times...where they have "all the news that's fit to print").

Also: apologies to CW music fans out there....the Irish music I was raised on is much worse!

All I Want From You (Is Away)

All My Exes Live in Texas

Beauty's in the Eye of the Beerholder

Bubba Shot the Jukebox

Did I Shave My Legs for This?

Don't Put Me in the Ex-Files

Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart

Heaven's Just a Sin Away

Here's a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?

How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody but Me?

I Bought the Shoes That Just Walked Out on Me

I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling

I Got You on My Conscience but at Least You're Off My Back

I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

I Left Something Turned On at Home

I May Be Used, but Baby I Ain't Used Up

I Wanted You to Leave Until You Left Me

I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, but I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

I'd Rather Be Picked Up Here Than Put Down at Home

I'd Rather Pass Another Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You

If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It

If the Jukebox Took Teardrops

If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me

If Whiskey Were a Woman, I'd Be Married for Sure

If You Can't Bite, Don't Growl

If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

I'll Give You Something to Drink About

I'll Marry You Tomorrow, but Let's Honeymoon Tonight

I'm Here to Get My Baby Out of Jail

I'm the Only **** Mama Ever Raised

It Only Takes One Bar (to Make a Prison)

I've Been Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart

Let's Do Something Cheap and Superficial

Make Me Late for Work Today

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him

Queen of My Double-Wide Trailer

Redneck Martians Stole My Baby

Remember to Remind Me I'm Leavin'

Savin' the Honey for the Honeymoon

She Feels Like a New Man Tonight

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy

She's Actin' Single . . . I'm Drinkin' Doubles

Shut Up and Talk to Me

Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone

The Man That Came Between Us (Was Me)

The Pint of No Return

There's a Tear in My Beer

Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

Venom Wearin' Denim

Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking in

Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass? Who's Gonna Take the Garbage Out When I'm Dead and Gone?

Why Did You Leave the One You Left Me For?

You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too

Your Alibi Called Today

Your Coffee's on the Table but Your Sugar's Out the Door

Your Negligee Has Turned to Flannel Nightgowns

You're a Hard Dog to Keep Under the Porch

You're Going to Ruin My Bad Reputation

You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

Steve
02-12-2002, 01:46 AM
I love it, thank you! Incidentally, do you know what happens when you play a country & western record backwards?

A: They fix your truck, your girl comes back to you, the dog gets better and your mama gets out of jail!

aeronca65t
02-12-2002, 10:39 AM
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aeronca65t
02-12-2002, 10:40 AM
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